[ en ] cryptid


Nov 13, 2023 - 4:44PM

PRAY ON IT // PREY ON IT

my problems are questions

i am an obvious

pleasure machine

my heart once drunk to speak

so now i have nothing

new to say

this intimate thing

absolute and magic

a little fire explores

and this laugh lingers

yes i believed in their power

don't you remember

we were touching like lavender

that night we survived

Nov 10, 2023 - 6:11PM

R_D_CT_D

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU PLAYING GUITAR OVER AN ENCRYPTED VIDEO CALL

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU PLAYING GUITAR OVER AN ENCRYPTED VIDEO

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU PLAYING GUITAR OVER AN ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU PLAYING GUITAR OVER ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU PLAYING GUITAR ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU PLAYING ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ALONG TO YOU ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ALONG TO ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ALONG ENCRYPTED

I’M SINGING ENCRYPTED

I’M ENCRYPTED

I’M

I’M

I’M

Nov 10, 2023 - 6:07PM

WHAT IF FRANKENSTEIN AND HIS MONSTER WERE ACTUALLY THE SAME CREATURE

&&&

I FEEL MOST LIKE A FAGGOT RIGHT BEFORE I AM CAUGHT

I.

my body's monster

can either mean my body [OWNS] a monster

or my body [IS] a monster

II.

sometimes i want to leave my skin in one of the terrific and dangerous ways other transsexuals do

III.

so i am reading the blog of someone who is transitioning back to their birth gender

after dysphoria in both binaries / and they say

i can’t look at myself anymore &

i feel like a freak | monstrous | frankensteined

and there is no binary that could convince me to pray

to it but the creature that lives shuttered against

the wall of my chest hears something familiar and

rears its malform | monstrous | miscreation

IV.

in the supermarket some child always shrieked stickily to their discontent adult

IS THAT A BOY | OR A GIRL

at first i’d hide in the next aisle to break into some kind of shamed sob

then i’d sneer back at whichever newly-toothed mouth the question came from

WHAT IF I’M NEITHER

WHAT IF I’M BOTH

WHAT IF I’M NOTHING

WHAT IF I’M LEAVING

WHAT IF I’M GONE

V.

after i get top surgery, my lover visits me

in recovery & holds my hand & when my bandages

come off, he

leaves.

VI.

i flinch when i drive through intersections because

my body remembers a car accident it survived

(my body remembers it did not have a limp prior)

i flinch when i see myself in the mirror because

my body remembers a sloppy surgery it survived

(my body remembers what grew there before it was un-grown)

i flinch when you say u know i love u right? because

my body doesn’t remember a love that it survived

VII.

i wonder how many years it will take of me stumbling

over the prayer following another confident voice before

i remember the cadence of community as smoothly as i do

the threat of christianity / what wonder / a prayer

my abusers never memorized / an altar i wasn’t molested

behind / a religious service i didn’t spend just as long

trying to scrub off /

VIII.

i am spending chanukah reading a historical account of anti-semitism

a blonde boy with blue eyes is still a jew if he’s born a jew

my father went to catholic school and they tried to beat the jew out of him

IX.

what is a jew

but an anxiety

growing sourly

ashamed of itself

X.

the borders are closed so we video-chat across time-zones

our voices crackle like glass breaking

last year i set my curtains on fire waiting for the light to

(((fade)))

XI.

what do leftists dream about?

cop cars on fire | being arrested

being loved | lovers being arrested

setting cop cars on fire with lovers

XII.

someone else's meatsuit && i are making out on their couch

instead of moving like dreams our sweat congeals && we laugh

i move to choke her like the faggots we are

&& i wake up, caught mid-----

Nov 10, 2023 - 1:10AM

I.

the astrologers in their infinite mercy

only cluck at my cards this time

II.

we all know i’ll skip a party to wait for

a text that doesn’t happen

III.

i’m not making my bed i haven’t in weeks

i’m just lying in it

IX.

i came out when poets still listed the states

we were allowed to consummate

marriage in and the crowd chanted

their contrapuntal traumas back

to us

Oct 26, 2023 - 9:08PM

to have

& to hurt

to hurt

& to hold

Oct 22, 2023 - 11:09PM

VENUS IN TAURUS

i left after she

came. already planning on

lying at home, too.

Oct 08, 2023 - 1:48AM

Behold!

I come like a thief--

Oh child, you cannot stay awake this long.

Were you raised to fear yourself like I was?

Oh darling, a yew-bloom into debt-sin.

Is this not what you wanted?

Creation without limit?

Oh, where are my manners?

Let me introduce you to perdition.

I lay myself on your chest.

My home is your voice.

Child, I am crazed with you.

Oh, strapped for sustenance--

I will consume all you love.

I will consume all who love you.

[revolution and/or revelation]

[revulsion and/or revision]

There is no escape without sleep.

I am a w[hole]. I empty as I fill.

Child, I missed you. I mist you.

I guest you. I ghost you.

I will be your final meal.

I will meet you within the past.

We will walk the aisle

to the altar of the future.

This will be our final communication.

: :

*commission from late 2020, to be played as a game on a website that I can't currently remember the name of :(

Sep 10, 2021 - 9:26PM

IF I REPEAT IT ENOUGH TIMES IT BECOMES TRUE

IF I REPEAT IT ENOUGH TIMES IT BECOMES ALIVE

IF I BELIEVE IT ENOUGH TIMES IT REPEATS

IF I BELIEVE IT REPEATS IT BECOMES ALIVE

IF I BELIEVE IT ALIVE IT BECOMES TRUE

Jul 25, 2021 - 2:58PM

IN TRANNY JAIL PEOPLE WHO HATE ME WILL SHARE THEIR CIGS WITH ME

i don't even like cigs but

around the fire we are all the same kind

of faggot /

there are liberals who think the solution to

overcrowded prisons is building

more prisons

then sorting the trannies out of regular jail

and putting them in a newly built

tranny jail

and in tranny jail,

we're gonna lift weights and compare shitty tattoos

in tranny jail,

people who have beef with me probably still

have beef with me and i wonder

all the time if we're all

in tranny jail together,

will we finally uplift each other?

will tranny jail make us kinder animals?

(we'll never know b/c if they get enuf of us in a cell we'll bang down the bars)



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